Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Book Recommendation | Allbestnet
  • Home
  • Allbestnet
  • Home
  • Science
    • Albert Einstein
    • Alan Kay
    • Sam Harris
    • Jane Goodall
    • Sean Carroll
    • Sarah Blaffer Hrdy
    • Bill Nye
  • Academic
    • Historian >
      • Antony Beevor
      • Adrian Goldsworthy
      • Timothy Snyder
      • Yuval Noah Harari
    • Philosophy >
      • Alain de Botton
      • Peter Singer
      • Tibor Machan
      • Daniel Dennett​
      • Nassim Nicholas Taleb
    • Psychology >
      • Daniel Kahneman
      • Daniel Gilbert
      • Jordan Peterson
      • Nathaniel Branden
      • Oliver Sacks
      • Richard Thaler
    • Linguistics >
      • Steven Pinker
      • Noam Chomsky
  • Entrepreneurs
    • Software developer >
      • Sam Altman
      • Patrick Collison
      • Joel Spolsky
    • Steve Blank
    • David Cancel
    • Ben Horowitz
    • Brad Feld
    • Derek Sivers
    • Eric Schmidt
    • Richard Branson
    • Larry Page
    • Sheryl Sandberg
    • Steve Jobs
    • Keith Rabois
    • Naval Ravikant
    • Marc Andreessen
  • Billionaires
    • More 50 Billion >
      • Jeff Bezos
      • Mark Zuckerberg
      • Warren Buffett
      • Bill Gates
    • Peter Thiel
    • Ron Conway
    • Jack Dorseyd
    • Elon Musk
    • Ray Dalio
    • Reid Hoffman
    • Mark Cuban
    • Charlie Munger
  • TV/radio
    • Ellen DeGeneres
    • Fareed Zakaria
    • Oprah Winfrey
    • Podcast >
      • Brain Science Podcast
      • Crooked Media Podcast
      • Radiolab
      • The Ezra Klein Show
      • Tim Ferriss Show
  • Media
    • Columnist >
      • David Brooks
      • Christopher Hitchens
      • Jonah Goldberg
      • Paul Krugman
      • Malcolm Gladwell
    • Andrew Ross Sorkin
    • Arianna Huffington
    • Rupert Murdoch
    • Scott Adams
    • Tim O'Reilly
  • Celebrities
    • Bangtan Boys (BTS)
    • David Bowie
    • Emma Watson
    • Julianne Moore
    • Jason Silva
    • John Leguizamo​
    • Lena Dunham
    • Gwyneth Paltrow
    • Woody Allen
  • Politicians
    • Angela Merkel
    • Barack Obama
    • Bill Clinton
    • Hillary Clinton
    • Ron Paul
    • George W. Bush
    • Theodore Roosevelt
    • Jeb Bush
    • Michelle Obama
  • Conservative Thinkers
    • Ayn Rand
    • Ben Shapiro
    • Thomas Sowell
    • Dennis Prager
    • Dinesh D'Souza
    • George Gilder
  • Culture & Society
    • Leaders & Activists >
      • Pope Francis
      • Martin Luther King Jr
      • Mahatma Gandhi
      • Tim Wise
    • YouTubers >
      • Joe Rogan
      • John Green
      • Vsauce
    • Guillermo del Toros
    • Douglas Rushkoff
    • Alison Bechdel
  • Motivation & Self-Improvement
    • Eckhart Tolle
    • Ryan Holiday
    • Seth Godin
    • Mark Manson
  • Authors' Picks
    • Poets >
      • Margaret E. Atwood
    • Alice Hoffman
    • Art Spiegelman
    • Brant Cooper
    • Chuck Klosterman
    • Daniel H. Pink
    • John Darnielle
    • Donald Barthelme
    • Elizabeth Gilbert
    • Ernest Hemingway
    • George Saunders
    • Michael Lewis
    • Nicole Krauss
    • Rupi Kaur
    • Jennifer Egan
    • Gary Shteyngart
    • ​George R. R. Martin
    • Karen Russell
    • Michael Cunningham
    • Stephen King
    • Salman Rushdie
  • Blog
  • Award Lists
    • National Book Critics Circle Award
    • The UWM Bookstore's Select 100
    • The New Lifetime Reading Plan
    • Top 100 Awards >
      • Entertainment Weekly's 100 Best Books of All Time
      • The 100 Favorite Novels of Librarians
      • TIME Magazine All Time 100 Novels
      • Modern Library >
        • Modern Library 100 Best Novels
        • Modern Library 100 Best Nonfiction
      • Favorite Books of 100 Spanish Authors by El Pais
      • ZEIT-Bibliothek der 100 Bücher
      • BBC Top 100 Books
      • 50 Years of Books to Remember by The New York Public Library
      • Harvard Top 100
      • Waterstones 100 Books of the Century
      • Norwegian Book Clubs' top 100 books of all time
      • The Celebrity Reading List
      • Radcliffe’s 100 Best Novels
      • Koen Book Distributors Top 100 Books of the Past Century
      • The Everyman's Library 100 Essentials
      • The 100 Best Non-Fiction Books Of The Century By National Review
    • Great Books of the Western World
    • Religion >
      • A Catholic Lifetime Reading Plan
      • Christianity Today's Books of the Century
      • Church Times: 100 Best Christian books
      • Curriculum Of Thomas Aquinas College
    • Guardian >
      • Guardian Essential Library
      • ​Guardian 100 Greatest Non-Fiction (2011)
      • ​Guardian 100 Greatest Non-Fiction (2017)
    • Pulitzer Prize Winning Books >
      • Fiction
      • History
      • General Nonfiction
      • Biography/Autobiography
      • Poetry
    • NPR Books >
      • 100 Best Romance Books
      • 100 Must-Reads For Kids 9-14
      • 100 Best-Ever Teen Novels
  • Best Book Categories
    • 501 Must-Read Books​
    • The 50 Year Reading Plan
    • Top 300 Most Cited Books of All-Time
    • Books That Will Improve You Knowledge
    • The Blue Pyramid Book List
    • ​100 most recommended books by startup founders
    • 50 Most Read Books in 2018
    • Top Books Published In 2018
    • This Season’s Biggest Book Releases
    • Popular Reddit Top 200 Books
    • The 30 most influential investing and finance books
    • Gilmore Girls Reading List >
      • Richard Gilmore Reading List
      • Lorelai Gilmore Reading List
      • All
      • Gilmore Girls Books Season 1
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 2
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 3
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 4
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 5
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 6
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 7
      • Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life Reading List
    • 100 Best Books Ever
    • Goodreads Choice Award History & Biography (2010–2016)
    • Top 50 Influential Business Books
    • The Greatest Non-Fiction Books ​List
    • The Books of the Century: 1900-1999
    • Sci-Fi & Fantasy >
      • The Best Science Fiction & Fantasy Books
      • 100 Best Science Fiction Books
      • ​75 Highly Regarded Science Fiction Books
      • 105 Highly Regarded Fantasy Books
    • The Greatest Fiction Books ​List
    • Stackoverflow >
      • Artificial Intelligence
      • Oracle
      • Agile Development
      • Computer Science
    • Military Reading List >
      • Army Chief of Staff’s Reading List
      • Military Reading List
    • Science
    • ​Mind Expanding Books
    • Worldcat >
      • Best Books 20th Century
      • Best Books Of The 19th Century
      • Best Books from 9bc to 18ad
    • ``Best Books`` Lists >
      • American >
        • 88 Books That Shaped America
        • Top 83 American Fiction
        • 25 American Classic Books
      • The Positive Library Books
      • Science >
        • 100 Best Science Books
        • Best Life Science Books
        • Best Health Books
      • 272 Highly Regarded Crime & Thriller Books
      • Most Influential Non-Fiction Books since WWII
      • The Master List of Best Books
      • 1276 Greatest Books
      • ​Top 5000 Books of All Time
  • Hacker News​
  • The Greatest Books
    • Gen. Fic.-novels
    • Gen. Fic.-Stories
    • Crime & Thriller
    • Speculative Fiction
    • Historical Fiction
    • YA Fiction
    • Nonfiction
    • Bio & Memoir
    • Romance
    • Poetry
    • Graphic
    • How To Books
  • Other lists
    • Psychology >
      • Top 50 Positive Psychology Books
      • Harvard’s Positive Psychology Study Notes >
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 1-4
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 5-9
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 10-16
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 17-20
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 21-23
    • OCLC Top 1000 >
      • Fiction​
      • Drama
      • Children
    • ​Top 500 Microhistory Books
    • Philosophy >
      • Top 100 Philosophers
      • ​27 Best Philosophy Books Of All-time
      • The Best Philosophy Books Of All Time
      • ​Top 105 Greatest Philosophical Novels Of All Time
      • The Ultimate Philosophy Reading List
    • Website Recommendations >
      • News Feed
    • 50 Classics >
      • 50 Psychology Classics
      • 50 Philosophy Classics
      • 50 Economics Classics
      • 50 Self-Help Classics
    • Romance >
      • All Time Favorite Romance Novels
      • Young Adult Romance
      • Best Paranormal Romance Series
  • All Book Timelines

Book Summary: How to Win Friends and Influence People ​

Part One
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
  1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. (It rarely helps the situation)
  2. Give honest sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two
Six Ways To Make People Like You
  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. (This is the secret to being a great conversationalist.)
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

Part Three
Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (Because even if you win, you aren’t going to get what you want.)
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. (A good way to start is to admit that you could be mistaken.)
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives. (Even if deep down they make the decision based on the baser ones. Everyone wants to be the hero of their own story.)
  11. Dramatize your ideas. (A picture and a story are worth a thousand words.)
  12. Throw down a challenge. (Do this when all else fails.) 

Part Four
Be A Leader: How To Change People Without Giving Offense Or Arousing Resentment
  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

​End notes:The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses.

An alternate summary from Farnham Street:


Criticism
  • Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. …. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

That reminds me of this famous quote by Thomas Carlyle: “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

Dealing with people
  • When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Influence
  • [T]he only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

The secret of success
  • If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.
* * * * * *
Originally published at bookoutlines.pbworks.com. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Allbestnet
  • Home
  • Science
    • Albert Einstein
    • Alan Kay
    • Sam Harris
    • Jane Goodall
    • Sean Carroll
    • Sarah Blaffer Hrdy
    • Bill Nye
  • Academic
    • Historian >
      • Antony Beevor
      • Adrian Goldsworthy
      • Timothy Snyder
      • Yuval Noah Harari
    • Philosophy >
      • Alain de Botton
      • Peter Singer
      • Tibor Machan
      • Daniel Dennett​
      • Nassim Nicholas Taleb
    • Psychology >
      • Daniel Kahneman
      • Daniel Gilbert
      • Jordan Peterson
      • Nathaniel Branden
      • Oliver Sacks
      • Richard Thaler
    • Linguistics >
      • Steven Pinker
      • Noam Chomsky
  • Entrepreneurs
    • Software developer >
      • Sam Altman
      • Patrick Collison
      • Joel Spolsky
    • Steve Blank
    • David Cancel
    • Ben Horowitz
    • Brad Feld
    • Derek Sivers
    • Eric Schmidt
    • Richard Branson
    • Larry Page
    • Sheryl Sandberg
    • Steve Jobs
    • Keith Rabois
    • Naval Ravikant
    • Marc Andreessen
  • Billionaires
    • More 50 Billion >
      • Jeff Bezos
      • Mark Zuckerberg
      • Warren Buffett
      • Bill Gates
    • Peter Thiel
    • Ron Conway
    • Jack Dorseyd
    • Elon Musk
    • Ray Dalio
    • Reid Hoffman
    • Mark Cuban
    • Charlie Munger
  • TV/radio
    • Ellen DeGeneres
    • Fareed Zakaria
    • Oprah Winfrey
    • Podcast >
      • Brain Science Podcast
      • Crooked Media Podcast
      • Radiolab
      • The Ezra Klein Show
      • Tim Ferriss Show
  • Media
    • Columnist >
      • David Brooks
      • Christopher Hitchens
      • Jonah Goldberg
      • Paul Krugman
      • Malcolm Gladwell
    • Andrew Ross Sorkin
    • Arianna Huffington
    • Rupert Murdoch
    • Scott Adams
    • Tim O'Reilly
  • Celebrities
    • Bangtan Boys (BTS)
    • David Bowie
    • Emma Watson
    • Julianne Moore
    • Jason Silva
    • John Leguizamo​
    • Lena Dunham
    • Gwyneth Paltrow
    • Woody Allen
  • Politicians
    • Angela Merkel
    • Barack Obama
    • Bill Clinton
    • Hillary Clinton
    • Ron Paul
    • George W. Bush
    • Theodore Roosevelt
    • Jeb Bush
    • Michelle Obama
  • Conservative Thinkers
    • Ayn Rand
    • Ben Shapiro
    • Thomas Sowell
    • Dennis Prager
    • Dinesh D'Souza
    • George Gilder
  • Culture & Society
    • Leaders & Activists >
      • Pope Francis
      • Martin Luther King Jr
      • Mahatma Gandhi
      • Tim Wise
    • YouTubers >
      • Joe Rogan
      • John Green
      • Vsauce
    • Guillermo del Toros
    • Douglas Rushkoff
    • Alison Bechdel
  • Motivation & Self-Improvement
    • Eckhart Tolle
    • Ryan Holiday
    • Seth Godin
    • Mark Manson
  • Authors' Picks
    • Poets >
      • Margaret E. Atwood
    • Alice Hoffman
    • Art Spiegelman
    • Brant Cooper
    • Chuck Klosterman
    • Daniel H. Pink
    • John Darnielle
    • Donald Barthelme
    • Elizabeth Gilbert
    • Ernest Hemingway
    • George Saunders
    • Michael Lewis
    • Nicole Krauss
    • Rupi Kaur
    • Jennifer Egan
    • Gary Shteyngart
    • ​George R. R. Martin
    • Karen Russell
    • Michael Cunningham
    • Stephen King
    • Salman Rushdie
  • Blog
  • Award Lists
    • National Book Critics Circle Award
    • The UWM Bookstore's Select 100
    • The New Lifetime Reading Plan
    • Top 100 Awards >
      • Entertainment Weekly's 100 Best Books of All Time
      • The 100 Favorite Novels of Librarians
      • TIME Magazine All Time 100 Novels
      • Modern Library >
        • Modern Library 100 Best Novels
        • Modern Library 100 Best Nonfiction
      • Favorite Books of 100 Spanish Authors by El Pais
      • ZEIT-Bibliothek der 100 Bücher
      • BBC Top 100 Books
      • 50 Years of Books to Remember by The New York Public Library
      • Harvard Top 100
      • Waterstones 100 Books of the Century
      • Norwegian Book Clubs' top 100 books of all time
      • The Celebrity Reading List
      • Radcliffe’s 100 Best Novels
      • Koen Book Distributors Top 100 Books of the Past Century
      • The Everyman's Library 100 Essentials
      • The 100 Best Non-Fiction Books Of The Century By National Review
    • Great Books of the Western World
    • Religion >
      • A Catholic Lifetime Reading Plan
      • Christianity Today's Books of the Century
      • Church Times: 100 Best Christian books
      • Curriculum Of Thomas Aquinas College
    • Guardian >
      • Guardian Essential Library
      • ​Guardian 100 Greatest Non-Fiction (2011)
      • ​Guardian 100 Greatest Non-Fiction (2017)
    • Pulitzer Prize Winning Books >
      • Fiction
      • History
      • General Nonfiction
      • Biography/Autobiography
      • Poetry
    • NPR Books >
      • 100 Best Romance Books
      • 100 Must-Reads For Kids 9-14
      • 100 Best-Ever Teen Novels
  • Best Book Categories
    • 501 Must-Read Books​
    • The 50 Year Reading Plan
    • Top 300 Most Cited Books of All-Time
    • Books That Will Improve You Knowledge
    • The Blue Pyramid Book List
    • ​100 most recommended books by startup founders
    • 50 Most Read Books in 2018
    • Top Books Published In 2018
    • This Season’s Biggest Book Releases
    • Popular Reddit Top 200 Books
    • The 30 most influential investing and finance books
    • Gilmore Girls Reading List >
      • Richard Gilmore Reading List
      • Lorelai Gilmore Reading List
      • All
      • Gilmore Girls Books Season 1
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 2
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 3
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 4
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 5
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 6
      • Gilmore Girls Book Challenge — Season 7
      • Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life Reading List
    • 100 Best Books Ever
    • Goodreads Choice Award History & Biography (2010–2016)
    • Top 50 Influential Business Books
    • The Greatest Non-Fiction Books ​List
    • The Books of the Century: 1900-1999
    • Sci-Fi & Fantasy >
      • The Best Science Fiction & Fantasy Books
      • 100 Best Science Fiction Books
      • ​75 Highly Regarded Science Fiction Books
      • 105 Highly Regarded Fantasy Books
    • The Greatest Fiction Books ​List
    • Stackoverflow >
      • Artificial Intelligence
      • Oracle
      • Agile Development
      • Computer Science
    • Military Reading List >
      • Army Chief of Staff’s Reading List
      • Military Reading List
    • Science
    • ​Mind Expanding Books
    • Worldcat >
      • Best Books 20th Century
      • Best Books Of The 19th Century
      • Best Books from 9bc to 18ad
    • ``Best Books`` Lists >
      • American >
        • 88 Books That Shaped America
        • Top 83 American Fiction
        • 25 American Classic Books
      • The Positive Library Books
      • Science >
        • 100 Best Science Books
        • Best Life Science Books
        • Best Health Books
      • 272 Highly Regarded Crime & Thriller Books
      • Most Influential Non-Fiction Books since WWII
      • The Master List of Best Books
      • 1276 Greatest Books
      • ​Top 5000 Books of All Time
  • Hacker News​
  • The Greatest Books
    • Gen. Fic.-novels
    • Gen. Fic.-Stories
    • Crime & Thriller
    • Speculative Fiction
    • Historical Fiction
    • YA Fiction
    • Nonfiction
    • Bio & Memoir
    • Romance
    • Poetry
    • Graphic
    • How To Books
  • Other lists
    • Psychology >
      • Top 50 Positive Psychology Books
      • Harvard’s Positive Psychology Study Notes >
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 1-4
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 5-9
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 10-16
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 17-20
        • PSY 1504 Lecture 21-23
    • OCLC Top 1000 >
      • Fiction​
      • Drama
      • Children
    • ​Top 500 Microhistory Books
    • Philosophy >
      • Top 100 Philosophers
      • ​27 Best Philosophy Books Of All-time
      • The Best Philosophy Books Of All Time
      • ​Top 105 Greatest Philosophical Novels Of All Time
      • The Ultimate Philosophy Reading List
    • Website Recommendations >
      • News Feed
    • 50 Classics >
      • 50 Psychology Classics
      • 50 Philosophy Classics
      • 50 Economics Classics
      • 50 Self-Help Classics
    • Romance >
      • All Time Favorite Romance Novels
      • Young Adult Romance
      • Best Paranormal Romance Series
  • All Book Timelines